shariew

As women we are taught we can have it all.  A great career, children, loving husband.  We can have it all we just have to be strong enough to handle it.  My question is how strong do we have to be to ask for help.  Before anyone gets all up in an uproar thinking I am against a woman doing it all or thinking we can’t.  I know for a fact we can.  I have been doing it for 23 years.  What I have learned is that the cost is extremely high.

I have had to work twice as hard in my careers to be recognized half as much as my male counterparts.  It isn’t fair, and it has changed a lot in 20+ years, but the sad fact is, it has been there, and is still there.  My children have suffered.  I have had to miss moments I have wanted to be there because of work.  Now I have been there for the important moments, but I know I have missed memories that are just as important because of my career.

I have a wonderful husband, but I know he has been third place a lot of times behind work and the children which is not right because I chose him first.  Religious aspects aside, if this is the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, shouldn’t he/she be the center of your world?  Not hanging on the outskirts waiting for you to pencil them in to your busy schedule?  Your spouse is supposed to be your partner, your equal.  There are things they are better at, and things you are better at.  It is what drew them to you in the first place.  They balanced you out.  Shouldn’t you lean on them, and draw strength from them?

I can do it all. I shouldn’t.  It is my fault when I let myself get so run down I can’t think anymore, and am mad at the world because I am so tired I can’t move.  The world has made it seem as if I am not a true woman if I don’t do everything and do it right the first time.  Well guess what.  The world is WRONG. I am going to try to turn in my super human card, and just try to be me.  I am going to ask for help, accept it, and not feel as if I have failed when I need someone to do something for me.

When we do it all, what message are we telling others.  Are we telling them they aren’t capable?  That what they do isn’t good enough? So what if it isn’t how we would have done it.  The point is it was one less thing we had to do which freed us up to focus on the more important things in life.  Which hopefully would be watching a sunset with our spouse or catching fireflies with our children.

We women are strong.  We are beautiful, and we are fierce.  There is nothing we can’t do.  That doesn’t mean we have to do it all alone.  Reach out and be strong enough to ask for help.  I think that makes us the strongest of all.  It means we are strong enough to let go, and let others be strong as well.